Royce Doesn't Want to Eat AIDS Burgers
Royce, the stupidly fearless leader of the Redneck Trio who did such manly things as press garlic at Bill’s DGD presentation and refuse to eat Lafayette’s AIDS burger (and he should’ve known LaLa was going to wail on him as soon as he took off his earrings). But when he decided to burn down the Malcolm’s Nest, Royce wrote a check his steel-pinned bottom couldn’t cash. In retaliation, he ended up in Fangtasia’s dungeon, and when he thought he was going to die, he cleared his conscious, confessing to Lafayette as if he were a priest on a sinking ship. (But of course he had a homoerotic experience at Safety Patrol Camp… It’s such a cliche I hardly mustered the energy to roll my eyes.) Royce didn’t take Lafayette’s solid advice to keep quiet and out of sight, and when he silvered Eric and ruined his new ‘do, it was c’est la vie (or, more accurately, c’est la mort). The South is over-run with ignorant bigots like Royce, and while I can’t say anyone will miss him, being ripped limb-from-limb in a grungy basement is an unfortunate way to go. That sucked for ol’ Royce, and in the very, very bad way. Rest in peace.
Thanks Latbfan. Very enjoyable. It may have sucked for Royce in a bad way, but glad Laf was able to use his piece of steel to get away, kind-of!
Royce was such a dickhead and his survival skills weren’t up to par, but at least he tried, so Eric didn’t have to look hard for a meal. Poor Royce, not saying he didn’t deserve it, but what a horrible way to go. Cruel indeed.
Good one, Lat. :-) I grew up around a Royce or two, that’s fer sher. Enjoy your retirement, cher, as I’m enjoying mine.
s.
superb as per usual dear Latbfan. Rest in Peace (or pieces, more like it), oh Royce of the magnetic ass and the pathetic garlic-crushing at the DGD assembly…
Super-duper job , , and I’m pleased that Royce should get the latbfan profile treatment right about now. If he represented the new incarnation of the old white trash cross-burners, he also gave us our first taste (pardon me) of a Viking’s penchant for revenge. Torn apart like barbecued chicken and devoured more or less alive, Royce had a gruesome come-uppance,, but suddenly we had a whole lot of new Vampire Eric information: 1. Don’t cross him – the payback is awful; 2. He has a dungeon – we are talking seriously awful payback 3. His hair styling is very important to him. Good lessons. Thanks Royce, and Rest in Pieces.
oh Acanthus, and lest we forget, another important viking-fact imparted (no pun intended ) through the Royce incident… the man, erhm, vamp, favours flip flops for off-duty lounging, snaking and sheriffing and seems quite oblivious to the squelshy-squelshy sounds rising from beneath his rather exposed, and no doubt gorgeous looking feet. You know what they say… tall men, big … feet and huge … footwear.
Freudian slip… I meant to write snacking but in eric’s case, snaking will do just fine. ROFLMAO
Not Freudian slip, this snaking , but subliminal choice of exactly the right word ;-))
ah… Gatto – I thought your slip was great! LOLOL! And while I’m not saying this about Alex Skarsgard, tall men with big feet do not necessarily endow the man with … ahem… anything else prize-worthy. So glad for the anonymity here – I’ve met some tall men – over 6 feet – who have nothing to brag about… aside from their height and shoe size, the other stuff was … ummm… Napoleonic. LOL can I use that as an adjective?! LOLOL Just goes to show that some myths are just that.. myths. Not all tall men, just saying some tall ones are not living up to that myth!
Ah, it did help get rid of the bad wig.
And we also learned that Pam does hair as well as help run Fangtasia.
At least he served his purpose well. Thanks, Royce, for activating the Eric “I KILL U” bomb and for your arm’s especcially beautiful flight. *bows*
(No one has a permittion to insult LaLa AND Eric)
RIP Roy.