Ms. Jeanette at Her Day Job

Ms. Jeanette was Maryann’s first local victim. Her red-toe nails and dead foot tormented viewers for months as we held our collective breath and hoped it wasn’t Lafayette. Her voodoo bus in the woods and dead ‘possums were enough to cure Lettie Mae, and she was the one who unintentionally summoned Maryann to Bon Temps. I was relieved that her powers weren’t entirely made-up, and I don’t blame her for doing what she had to do to look after her family. As Lafayette wisely pointed out, a dead critter and a rock is much better than a life of Zoloft (or, as it turns out, having your heart cannibalized by a maenad). Rest in peace, Ms. Jeanette.

Daphne

“Hey! I know that pig!” The true identity of the Paul Bunyan pig confounded us all (I had my money on Karl), but it turned out to be Daphne, yet another character we barely knew. She made a mess of things at Merlotte’s (and I seriously wonder why anyone still applies for waitress jobs at Merlotte’s) and seduced Sam before luring him to Maryann as a sacrifice to the god who never comes. All that is forgivable, though, because in the end, no one wants their heart cooked into a soufflé and eaten as a precursor to fighting. Rest in peace, Daphne.

Creepy Karl

Karl was a creepy, creepy guy. We all knew he was up to no good, always delivering towels when no one needed them and pocketing cell phones and making edible fruit arrangements and meat trees. Maryann didn’t think twice before deflecting Lafayette’s bullet into his head, and she would’ve been the only one who cared whether or not he lived or died. In the end, he was just another victim. Better luck in your next incarnation, Karl. Rest in peace.

Posted in Rest In Peace