Fan-Girls’ Fashion Round-Table with the Men of True Blood
By latbfan on Jun 5 2010 | 25 Comments »
Lat/ CE: "Lets go SHOPPING!" Menfolk: Noooooo!!!!
latbfan here, along with the ever-charming and irrepressible CitizenErased and some of the gorgeous men of True Blood. After all the fuss about the ladies and their wardrobes, we thought it’d only be fair to let the men have a turn. I’d like to thank Bill Compton, Eric Northman, Jason Stackhouse, and Sam Merlotte for taking time from their busy schedules to be with us this evening and participate in our round-table on men’s fashion.
Jason: Men’s fashion? Like clothes? That crazy woman (points an accusatory finger at CE, who’s inching her chair closer to Bill’s) told me we were talking about boobs.
Eric: (Snorts) And you were foolish enough to believe that?
latbfan: Why don’t we all just get to the point before there’s a fight. CE, would you like to begin?
CE: (whose chair is now touching Bill’s. She strokes his bicep and licks her lips.) Mmm wha? Yes, fighting bad. Make love, not war and all that…
latbfan: Fashion, CE? We’re talking about fashion? Would you like to start our discussion?
Sexy Season One Wardrobe
CE: (glares at Latbfan) WHAT?
latbfan: FINE! I’ll start with what you’re all wearing right now. Bill, I see you’re sporting the famous white Henley from Season 1. Excellent choice, and a favorite among the fans.
CE: Le sighhhhhhhhh…
Eric: Why does he get to go first? You women are biased. I have other things to do; not all of us live lives of leisure.
Jason: (quietly, to Sam) I thought they was dead? How can they have lives if they’re dead?
Eric: Why did I agree to do this stupid thing?
latbfan: Actually, you didn’t. I spoke with Pam, and she was the one who said you’d be delighted to join us.
Eric: (mutters in Swedish)
latbfan: I would like to state, once and for all, that I am not biased. (to Bill) Would you mind if we started with Eric?
Bill: (smiles) Not at all.
Quintessential Eric Attire
CE: You’re so considerate and thoughtful and caring…not the tiniest bit sulky, it’s enough to make a girl drop her pan…
latbfan: So Eric (latbfan loudly interrupts), I don’t get the black wife-beaters. What’s the deal? Don’t they get boring night after night?
Eric: (shrugs) They look good on me.
latbfan: Well, I’m sure no one would argue with that (Sam snorts derisively), but why all the time? Why not mix it up?
Eric: Sometimes I do. I have some fabulous vintage Ts I wear from time to time, as well as a closet full of custom suits. But I get clothes ripped from me on a regular basis, and I don’t want to ruin things I really like.
latbfan: Rabid fans rip your clothes? (CE snorts)
Eric: Yes. It’s an irritation that’s resulted from my devastating good looks. (Sam and Bill roll their eyes, and Jason nods sympathetically) But also, why not be comfortable? It’s one of the many advantages to being in charge – I’m no longer required to impress.
Sam Wears Wranglers and Plaid SOOO Well
latbfan: That’s why you wear the flip-flops? Because they’re non-impressive?
Eric: They’re the closest I can come to being barefoot, which is my preference, without stepping in human residue on the floor. And, in case you haven’t noticed, I have very attractive feet.
latbfan: Actually, I have noticed. (latbfan blushes and clears her throat) But do you miss any fashion trends from earlier times?
Eric: (more shrugging) I don’t find it productive to dwell on things which cannot be changed. That said (he leans towards latbfan and winks), I look quite dashing in a waist-coat.
latbfan: (blushing and fanning her face) I can only imagine. But there are quite a few fans who were devastated that Season Two passed without you sporting pink spandex.
Eric: That again? I would like to say, once and for all, there was one time, ONCE, and while I’ll not be sharing the specifics as to when and why, let’s just say the outfit made perfect sense, and it fit me like a charm. But I do not envision myself in such an ensemble anytime soon.
CE: Thank God! Its not the fricking 1980′s, people.
Eric: Yes, the stupid female human is correct. What is the fascination with the spandex? I also mentioned wearing animal hides in that conversation, and no one’s hung on up that. You want to talk about “fashion?” Only wear what you’ve killed and skinned and sewn yourself. That really says something about a person. Who cares where someone shops?
Sex on a Stick...
latbfan: (speaking to the group) Okay, this is a tad personal but our fans are dying to know: boxers or briefs? Care to enlighten us?
Sam: (shrugs) I keep clothes to a minimum.
Eric: I never wear undergarments.
Bill: I do not require undergarments.
CE: I always suspected that about you. (Her hand creeps over to Bill’s knee)
latbfan: (coughs)
Jason: Y’all saying you don’t wear underwears?
latbfan: Yes. (in a very professional tone) That’s what they’re saying. Would you like to comment on your underwear?
Eric: We all know he favors those tighty-whities.
Jason: (blushes angrily) How would you know about my underwear?
Eric: (smirks) Please. Who hasn’t seen Lafayette’s website. They’re absurd, you know. Not even you can pull off that look.
Jason: He swore that no one would know me! I had on a mask!
Eric: Pam immediately recognized you. She never forgets a pretty face.
Jason: She couldn’t see my face.
Eric: Yes, well, apparently your face isn’t your most memorable feature.
Jason: Son of a bitch… (he pushes back his chair and stalks out of the room)
latbfan: Well, I guess we can’t ask about his one good shirt and his ripped-off sleeves.
Eric: Like that’s a tragedy.
CE: But the Bon Temps football shirt totally rules! (glares disdainfully at Eric) You’re awfully pissy tonight, Mr. High and Mighty. (she moves her hand further up Bill’s thigh) Not like you. What a gentleman. So considerate and thoughtful, and yummy…
Sam: This again? I think I’m going to… um… Make sure he’s not upset… (Sam looks around before making a dash for the door)
latbfan: We didn’t get to talk to Sam about his clothes either. I wanted to give him grief for wearing jeans to Gran’s funeral. This isn’t going how I planned.
Eric: It’s the most ridiculous excuse for an interview I’ve ever taken part in.
latbfan: Well, thanks for that honest assessment, Eric. But let’s talk about Bill’s clothes for a minute. CE, would you like to take this one? I know you have some issues with his tucked-in shirts.
CE: (blinks) Oh yes. In my country, stuffy old shirts tucked into pants? You’re either an old man, or a wanker in a suit. Or retarded. Much as I have lots of evil fantasies about what could be done with that belt…please make it stop (buries head in hands).
Bill: (looks baffled) I do not understand modern females very well, especially ones so forward and foul mouthed…ahem, what should I be wearing, sweetheart?
CE: (looks up and smiles winningly) Nothing works for me.
Bill: I do not think my intended would appreciate such a suggestion.
CE: Oh yeah, HER (pouts and mutters ‘bitch’ under breath). Basically Henley’s work for me. The white one (she fondles the white Henley around his pectoral), the blue one. The military jackets, the leather jackets…mmm, those are all good.
Bill: (raises brow) I am relieved you approve of some of my clothing. To be honest, I do not think much on it. I expect I am old- fashioned. Sookie never complains to me, but then again she has been rather distracted these days (glares at Eric).
CE: Forget about HER… and button up shirts. And black. And fricking robes. Unless its that red Hefner robe…I don’t suppose you want to go get it and model it for me…
latbfan: (rolls eyes at ineptness of co-interviewer) Yes. I would also like to add that all the black seems over-the-top. I mean, we get that you’re vampires. Can you be more dramatic about it?
Eric: It matches everything.
latbfan: Yeah, and it’s slimming for your gigantic head. (Eric glares, but everyone else chuckles) That was said with great affection, you know. But come on – give the black a rest. Eric, you were stunning in the grey suit, and Bill, you wore that beautiful blue shirt when you spoke with the DGD, and I can see a man like you appreciating French cuffs.
CE: Bah, a fecking grandad suit, but that blue shirt was lovely. Your eyes are so very blue… (she climbs into his lap and moves her face closer to his) So very, very blue…
latbfan: So sorry about her, by the way.
Bill: It happens all the time, actually.
Eric: You wish, Compton. This female is clearly blind to prefer you to me.
CE: YOU wish, asshole. Goddamn posturing, why don’t they just fuck each other and get it over with?
latbfan: Many people have suggested that, myself included, provided that I can watch… ANYWAY (speaking loudly), thank you all, for joining us. It’s been… enlightening. There’s just one more statement about fashion that I’d like to make.
Eric: Thank God this crap is over. What’s that?
latbfan: (she pulls the fluffy Hotel Carmilla bathrobes from a large sack. She tosses them into the metal trashcan, sprays them with lighter fluid, and casually tosses a lit match.) I hate those damn robes.
CE: Hell to the yeah!
You women are crazy funny! Thanks for that. I like all the men and their fasion sense (or lack thereof in a few cases) but something about Jason wearing his shirt on his head during FotS training got me thinking very, very naughty thoughts.
Not that I was looking at his head much, but still…
xoxo Thanks chicas!
that was very funny! LOL
OMG that was priceless lol :D
Still laughing, and laughing – when CE climbed on to Bill’s lap I just lost it. I can SO imagine you girls actually doing this in real life. That’s why it’s so great. Although it would also be quite possible CE or any of us, given the chance to meet Bill would simply be incapable of anything but staring and stuttering. Well done.
LOL! Man I wish this were real! But I have to say, I agree with Eric, black does go with everything…
Way to go ladies, that was great! It’s my turn to crawl into Bill’s lap next time, CE.
Wait yer turn, wench.
I thought CE should stuff her panties into Bill’s pocket at the end of the interview, but alas – she didn’t. So glad y’all are enjoying our little offering. It’s always fun to write with CE…
I would have, but they’d already fallen off :p Always a pleasure darlin’
Latbfan and CE………STANDING OVATION for this!!! This is hilarious!! It’s easy to picture all four of them and hearing them say those words….and I’m next in line behind AEM to climb onto Bill’s lap!!!
Bill should only wear henleys…..of any color!! Pants optional. :-P
Thanks again ladies for the laugh of the evening!!! Fantastic!
Excellent writing ladies ;) I’m of the opinion though that all the boys merely stand in the shadow of Lafayette!
omfg…
that was hilarious!!!!!!!!
If I could stop laughing for a minute or two I’d tell you what complete and utter geniuses you are! I love your characters interviews so much and this is the best yet! You have the boys so perfectly and the discussions are truly hilarious. Brilliant!
OK, I’m still picking myself up off the floor, where I collapsed in laughter. Spot on ladies, this is genius writing!
Well done ladies! I am also in the “hop on Bill’s lap” queue!
Well done CE and latbfan, well done. I rarely laugh out loud at things I read on-line, but you two really had me going. Thanks for the chuckle!!!
LMAO…..That was totally hilarious…Excellent job. Thanks for the laugh..
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS, very very funny!
I am just sorry I couldn’t participate as 3rd wheel and do my bit for Eric ’cause, hot god damn, he does rock about any look you throw at him, wife-beater & flip-flop combo included. And ladies, I am sorry, but I do not believe there is such a thing as too much black. loved this!
A real mood-lifter, thanks so much. But a little black has to be okay, I don’t want to see Bill in a powder blue tuxedo.
ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can’t type *snicker*, laughing too much!
yeah, ummm i woulda been like CE with eric. but very funny.
reread this, laughing myself silly…
Jason leaving in high dudgeon, Bill being cool as a cucumber sandwich as CE near gives him a lapdance, Eric being smug and vampiry, Sam waiting to high-tail it out of there … you ladies are BRILLIANT
This was freaking hilarious. big LOL. You girls are great. After epi 3 I need cheering up. You ladies know those characters up and down-Brilliant!
rather enjoyed that a lot, a lot, a lot!!!!!!
Aside from CE’s unapologetic biased commentary, not matter how hilarious it was), I have to admit that (besides the guys in their birthday suits) my favorite costume was Eric’s suit. It was a nice change from his “tough guy” wardrobe and he looked like the superstar girls would do anything to be ravished by! XD
Hope you ladies come up with something just as funny soon!