Booze for Dolls

This week on True Blood, someone put too much white paint on Bill (for shame, Makeup!), Lafayette is not gay for Eric, but finds him delicious, Jason continues to be brainwashed by smiley, terrifying church folk and some zombie orgy-goers have a food fight in Sookie’s house.

Welcome to citizenerased’s weekly roundup of the various goings on in our favourite alternative universe. If you’re expecting a serious, objective discussion of events exciting in Bon Temps (and now Dallas), then my apologies in advance.

This week’s awesome episode was brought to you by the acid wit of Alan Ball, who wrote the script, and it shows. It was the most funny ass show so far this season, and skipped along at a dizzying pace, setting up future events nicely without giving too much away. We opened with a charming bunch of Fellowship of the Sun jocks playing a prank on Jason with ketchup, which kind of backfired when he gave them a rousing anti-vampire speech (nicked from everything the scary Newlin’s had just spouted forth at their cosy dinner together). Jason continues to be so unbelievably stupid it’s almost, but not quite, endearing.

Sweet talking at the stairs

Then we switch to outraged and fangy Daddy Compton snarling at poor, sweet Hoyt, and egads! They give Bill something funny to say, and it continues throughout the show. Enjoy it as he’ll be back to being miserable soon enough. That man got crazy women trouble plus Eric on his back; he’s supposed to be tortured. Hoyt leaves, Jessica storms upstairs hiding her fangs, and more astonishment, Bill and Sookie have a nice, grown up talk on the stairs without any shouting! I could get used to this.

Sam continues his naked night swimming with the useless new waitress Daphne, who seems to be into him, and notices the alarming scratches on her back as she exits. Then it’s daytime again and Jason has a hilarious conversation with his fellow church camp meatheads at breakfast, then goes vamp target shooting with an orgasmic Reverend Newlin. Maryanne takes it well when Tara announces she’s moving in with Sookie, but somehow manages to be quietly menacing in a well-dressed kinda way. I like sexy parties, but I wouldn’t want to go to any of hers. Later on she scares the crap out of Tara by turning up on Sookie’s porch with a wedding cake and her creepy sidekicks Eggs and the fat butler who might be a pig. Another party ensues, and manages to be even more disturbing than the last one. Tara’s miserable as it’s her birthday and birthdays suck, so she invites them in. I’m thinking Sookie the clean freak is going to be mighty pissed when she comes home to find the house totally trashed by her new roomie’s friends/stalkers.

Andy Bellefleur loses his badge, Miss Jeanette’s carved up back is nicely linked to what happened to Sookie’s in the last episode, Sam continues to growl and snap at our blonde heroine, who dutifully goes into work despite almost dying the episode before, and having a lot of packing to do for Dallas. Jason snacks on Mrs. Newlin’s ribs after a softcore redneck fantasy sequence, and then we come to the most awesome part of the show. Tipsy Sookie drifts down the stairs of a plane in an airport hanger in Dallas, waving an empty bottle of Grey Goose around and looking very perky in her yellow 1950’s housewife outfit (are those petticoats underneath that skirt? Hmm.). Limo driver guy waiting for her has evil plans, Bill hears Sookie’s screech and is up and out of his coffin and flying through the air before I could blink. Coooooool. Jessica cannot quite manage that trick yet though, but Bill, having listened to Sookie’s advice about being a good maker, gives her the limo driver to play with in the car. Turns out she is as good at glamouring as her Daddy. Because she’s supremely awesome, she decides to have some fun with this. I almost felt sorry for the limo guy until we find out he was employed to snatch Sookie by the Fellowship of the Sun.

Laffayette's experiencing the joys of vampire's blood

Meanwhile, back in Bon Temps, Lafayette has a visitor. Everyone’s favourite patronising, icy and yet somehow still incredibly charming vampire Eric wants to give Lafayette his blood. The best dressed cook in Louisiana is naturally suspicious, but eventually gets down on it while a bored Eric watches TV. This results in a completely over the top happy dance, hurrah! Lafayette is back in business, baby. He might come to regret that thousand year old drink though, Eric don’t give out shit for free. Big blonde and dead then ‘flies’ off to Dallas to harass Bill about their mission- to locate the missing vampire Godric. His arrival gets Bill more snarky than usual as Eric annoyingly interrupts what might have been sex I actually want to see, instead of naked orgy people rolling around in Gran’s garden. Ewww. They go downstairs for a drink and snarl at each other while Sookie watches some vampire porn on the plasma and Jessica orders room service. I just love Bill and Eric squaring off like two old queens about to handbag each other, so this warmed my little ‘mmm, vampire sandwich’ heart. It turns out that Eric suspects the Fellowship is behind the disappearance of Godric, and now they tried to snatch Sookie…hmm, the plot thickens. Bill is worried, so I guess that’s the end of him being dry and witty and smiley. Le sigh.

Somewhere else in Texas, Jason is now staying in the Newlin’s house and getting distinct ‘hey, our bedrooms down the hall, fancy a threesome?’ vibes from the reverend’s wife. He’s obviously got a massive ‘virgin, mother, whore’ complex, as he’s very offended when his ex bunkmates imply that Mrs Newlin wants some of his ‘beef injection’. Women are either idolised by Jason or are skanks. He’s one messed up boy, I wish I could sympathise with him more but he’s too much of a dumbass. And back again in Bon Temps, everyone has abandoned Merlotte’s for Tara’s shindig, so Sam goes along too, taking Lettie Mae’s birthday present for Tara. He has another hissing confrontation with Maryanne and then slopes off with Daphne the waitress, who knows what he is, apparently. I am not sure what she is at this stage, but I hope she’s nice to Sam, poor guy deserves a woman without issues. The party gets wilder, Maryann grows claws (she IS the monster in the woods! OMG!), people turn to zombies and eat dirt and rub cream cakes and body parts all over each other while Tara has what looks like fabulous sex with Eggs upstairs.

The cliffhanger, because there always is one, is that Sookie meets another telepath when Jessica’s room service turns up at the door. She promptly chases the terrified bellboy down the hall while our Jess disappears into her room with her hunky B Negative. Until next time, when we will probably be back in Dallas enjoying exciting vampire stuff. And more of Bill and Eric bitching at each other. Whee!

Posted in Ep 4 - Shake and Fingerpop, Recaps, Reviews, Season 2