This week on True Blood, Andy Bellefleur is my hero, Lafayette’s a fabulous bitch, the Christian soldiers act not very Christian at all, Maryanne has gross old man feet, Lorena is the clingy ex girlfriend from hell and Hoyt has real bad taste in seduction music.
Any episode of True Blood which opens with Andy Bellefleur face down in the dirt yelling ‘piiiiiiiiiiiig’ you know is going to be pretty amazing. I’m kind of sad that the pig mystery is now solved as I will miss him running around Bon Temps drunk off his ass trying to find it. Unfortunately for the town, Andy is one of the handful of sane folks left due to the machinations of Maryanne, whose latest naked fun party ended on a major buzzkill as a screaming Sam was dragged in by Daphne for a nice ritual sacrifice. And so begins our theme of being locked up against your will by various types of charming lunatics. Whether by a church with a nice line in hate-crime board games for kids, or a town full of effing zombies. Or a woman from your shady past who, like a bloody black widow spider or praying mantis, would rather eat you alive than let you go free. Intense huh?
Anyway, this week’s hero Andy thankfully interrupts Maryanne’s plans for cutting out Sam’s heart.Orgy zombies wail in distress as her hoodoo spell is broken by the need to chase Sam through the woods looking kind of lame in her bull mask and Grecian gown. Clever Sam shifts into a very cool owl and flies away gracefully, missing the opportunity to shit on her head while he’s at it. Then we see more dangly bits and tits as the party disperses and a pantless Terry breaks Andy’s arm for a good laugh. I’m real glad he’s wearing a shirt and his dignity isn’t ruined further by showing us his mini-Terry. In another State, a caged Sookie and Hugo are freaking out in the church basement. Sookie’s wondering why Bill hasn’t turned up to save her ass yet again while Hugo whines, but is kind of glad he hasn’t, given the nastiness of her hosts. Still, she looks hurt, and here beginneth her doubts about the wonderfulness of her man, which I assume is the whole idea of the organized imprisonment going on at the hotel at the moment.
